bringing it home

Time is a constant theme on my mind here. I feel like its flying by now whereas in the beginning it moved like a caterpillar traversing the length of a palm leaf. Sometimes the little things that are so important get lost in the jumble of flashy and vivacious new experiences, so I wanted to spend some time reflecting on la vida cotidiana here. I am endlessly lucky to live in this house. Watching the babies grow up and absorb the world is a gift; they have such large capacities for wonder and love. My host mom really kicks ass--she is kind, honest, and real. We went out one night the two of us and it was one of my favorite nights of the semester, just sitting and drinking terremotos. I continue to rediscover the power of female friendships and intergenerational companionship. She's lived her life in such a fierce and empowering way and it was an honor to be able to hear some of her stories!

This family has taken me to their extended family cookout/party, taught me how to make navegados (incredible invention, the Chileans are brilliant alcoholic drink creators), brought me to a Santiago Wanderer's soccer game, and just generally accepted me into their family in all my humanness. I really find wonder in the process of belonging and home-making. I don't know exactly when I started considering this house and family and barrio a version of home, but now I feel that warm, safe, deep relief when I turn the corner to our street and walk down the pathway. I'm so endeared to Cerro Baron! I think all humans are programmed to crave and revel in the experience of being adopted into a place, being part of a community. When I recognize a neighborhood dog, or when I see the 507, I feel a tiny little pang in my stomach at the recognition of a part of this home. Maybe I am just wildly sentimental. 

Space really matters to me. I wanted to do a movement exercise using the small space of my room, that started out as a unknown space and now feels extremely safe and cozy. I went through the process of nesting these past months and now I love my little nest. Here is the writing from that experience.

begin freewrite. 

Sometimes things need to simplify. Small space safe space, alone. Of course, the video continues the theme of observation, but I feel deep inside right now, moving from that inside place. Project to include all my body in this dance, sniffly nose and all. This room is a safe little nook, where I can rest for a bit. Dancing always creates discovery for a space, the curtains are thick and profound in their materiality. The door and walls support. My bed is soft and inviting, this duet between my body and the blankets creates a newfound realization at the sensation of soft fabric on my skin. Skin, the outermost creature. Rolling. That's all I want to do. Driven by some internal voice, maybe to churn out all the thoughts like butter. How small and intense movement becomes when you place it in a container. Always the curls tickling my back, again I feel the skin present in this dance. 

Desire to be small and compact (and then expand), but always return to that womb, the original form of comfort. Creating a home here in this room, this house, mixing languages and memories up as the connections explore in my brain. Little zaps of brain matter lightening bolts. Ooooh how much is held in my body that I must expel? Delightful.