Emilia the baby is teaching me a lot
This is the first time I've lived with a baby, and its beautiful watching Emilia the baby grow and change in such a short time. Babies are also exhausting! Appreciation to all the mothers and fathers and childrearers of all sorts. Sometimes, here, I feel like a baby myself, because I often find myself in situations where I have absolutely no idea what is happening, or feel the overwhelming sensation to cry and curl up in a fetal position. This happens rarely of course, but I feel like most humans can relate to that profound instinct in times of excessive adventuring out of one's comfort zone to curl and cry. It feels good to do sometimes!
I've been enjoying Afroperuvian dance classes, connecting with many, many wonderful people, learning (as always) from the amazing women I meet and also those I've known for years, and embarking on the terrifying and exciting journey of classes in a foreign language/cultural context. As an example of the locura of classes, today I participated in a full-fledged, 3 hour long talent show in my dance class in which people juggled fire, opened beer bottles with their mouths, and read every audience member's tarot cards. Hope to invest time in these new relationships and continue to find ways to move my body.
Begin freewrite.
I am feeling sore in my back and liberated from my initial fears and insecurity and loneliness and also still contending with some jumbled things, as always. I've been thinking a lot about visibility--who gets to see me? Who actually does see me? What do they see? What Am I seeing? There is immense privilege embedded in this idea. I must recognize my own privilege in being able to be here; a major reason for the need to have gratitude for everything that happens.
For the honest, 4 am conversations recognizing the deep connections between the societal circumstances here and the US influence/meddling/fuckery and also what does it mean to be in love with someone you can't speak the same language as--seeing love blossom for the people around me, who I love, fills me with warmth. I danced to that mural because the colors and floor represent my current state of existence. Brilliantly sprouting and a little unsure of my feet still, finding ways to roll with the punches, the water bounces off your body gently as you stand in the current and at some point you let go and let it take you down, or along (down implies a negative feeling but its more just continuing on). I've been thinking a lot about the act of living versus the act of getting through current life to get to the future, because I'm living with a baby. Babies are great at just living.
I've been enjoying Afroperuvian dance classes, connecting with many, many wonderful people, learning (as always) from the amazing women I meet and also those I've known for years, and embarking on the terrifying and exciting journey of classes in a foreign language/cultural context. As an example of the locura of classes, today I participated in a full-fledged, 3 hour long talent show in my dance class in which people juggled fire, opened beer bottles with their mouths, and read every audience member's tarot cards. Hope to invest time in these new relationships and continue to find ways to move my body.
Begin freewrite.
I am feeling sore in my back and liberated from my initial fears and insecurity and loneliness and also still contending with some jumbled things, as always. I've been thinking a lot about visibility--who gets to see me? Who actually does see me? What do they see? What Am I seeing? There is immense privilege embedded in this idea. I must recognize my own privilege in being able to be here; a major reason for the need to have gratitude for everything that happens.
For the honest, 4 am conversations recognizing the deep connections between the societal circumstances here and the US influence/meddling/fuckery and also what does it mean to be in love with someone you can't speak the same language as--seeing love blossom for the people around me, who I love, fills me with warmth. I danced to that mural because the colors and floor represent my current state of existence. Brilliantly sprouting and a little unsure of my feet still, finding ways to roll with the punches, the water bounces off your body gently as you stand in the current and at some point you let go and let it take you down, or along (down implies a negative feeling but its more just continuing on). I've been thinking a lot about the act of living versus the act of getting through current life to get to the future, because I'm living with a baby. Babies are great at just living.
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