sunny corner by the stereo

I feel like I am in a state of suspended time and space. Days are blending together! We don't have hot water right now. I stress bought 20 mini Velveeta mac and cheese packs. Send me your address and I'll send you a letter.

Sometimes when I dance I find myself struck with a deep sadness. A sadness owned by the phantom of my community of movers, my teachers, that shared space space. It had woven itself into my capillaries and bone marrow like oxygen, so this moment feels like a severing of a body part. Saying goodbye was always going to be painful, but I ache for those last two months that now are gone. 

But when I dance, I am also reminded of the fact that my body is here still, it is mine. It is healthy and very intelligent, forcing me to feel this string of complicated tidal wave emotions even when I try to avoid them. I can try to capitalize my quarantine as hard as possible--projects! Letters! CLEANING! The spirit of capitalism is ALIVE AND WELL-- but my body always wins and I feel the feelings anyways. (Is my body a socialist revolutionary????)

This song is so meaningful because it transports me, all of us, to the fall 2018 in Advanced Technique with Aretha. I still know the choreography. Here I am improvising in this sunny corner of my house, stuck in a loop of "Off My Mind" by Javelin and experiencing a peculiar amount of manic energy like a bee trapped in a car. 


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